just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want a musical about memes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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