dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize