Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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