White coat. Heels.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
