That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
