Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.

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  (248): I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships. http://tfl.nu/wu4m
  Replies (33) Good night (4363) Bad night (1233)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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  (612): I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement. http://tfl.nu/3cr8
  Replies (27) Good night (5754) Bad night (796)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10510) Bad night (930)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  suggestion: become a stripper.

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  (774): just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed. (508): suggestion: become a stripper. http://tfl.nu/xaou
  Replies (22) Good night (4651) Bad night (961)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it

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  (301): I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it http://tfl.nu/ek0f
  Replies (7) Good night (3295) Bad night (857)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2385) Bad night (812)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2297) Bad night (743)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.

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  (860): She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused. http://tfl.nu/7uxa
  Replies (12) Good night (3353) Bad night (1126)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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  (720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi
  Replies (15) Good night (2376) Bad night (939)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers

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  (802): You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers http://tfl.nu/tkru
  Replies (6) Good night (1713) Bad night (355)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.

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  (330): GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. http://tfl.nu/8n34
  Replies (11) Good night (1868) Bad night (416)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.

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  (401): also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part. http://tfl.nu/nmg6
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (302)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.

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  (615): Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud. http://tfl.nu/i1my
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (481)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b

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  (403): Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b http://tfl.nu/9tf8
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (248)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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  (212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf
  Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (218)

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