Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

  (1-858): View more from California

  Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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  (858): I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth (1-858): Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again? http://tfl.nu/8rfw
  Replies (10) Good night (683) Bad night (5165)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex

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  (404): I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex http://tfl.nu/l7ka
  Replies (44) Good night (7386) Bad night (720)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play

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  (513): sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does (513): i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play http://tfl.nu/pxmv
  Replies (24) Good night (3647) Bad night (607)
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  (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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  (949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt
  Replies (48) Good night (1350) Bad night (7510)
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  (619): View more from California

  Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

  (1-619): View more from California

  I am not bailing you of of jail

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  (619): Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now.. (1-619): I am not bailing you of of jail http://tfl.nu/exjk
  Replies (19) Good night (6333) Bad night (1165)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...

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  (920): He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of... http://tfl.nu/1eiy
  Replies (14) Good night (1059) Bad night (4286)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

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  (850): it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday http://tfl.nu/fl8q
  Replies (2) Good night (3121) Bad night (783)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off

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  (715): guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off http://tfl.nu/qflt
  Replies (10) Good night (3384) Bad night (1280)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.

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  (703): Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys. http://tfl.nu/ay7v
  Replies (7) Good night (2322) Bad night (846)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.

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  (780): I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night. http://tfl.nu/oi63
  Replies (7) Good night (2617) Bad night (660)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

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  (785): She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right? http://tfl.nu/iw36
  Replies (20) Good night (3421) Bad night (1055)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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  (218): I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now. http://tfl.nu/xd1f
  Replies (7) Good night (480) Bad night (1000)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".

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  (317): You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!". http://tfl.nu/c85b
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (301)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (208)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers

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  (605): Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers http://tfl.nu/23r1
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (367)

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