Christians are straight up FREAKS
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there