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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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• (646): View more from New York

  So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..

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• (210): View more from Texas

  And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged

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