I'm going to rape someone's good day.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag