Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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