So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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