I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
