if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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