it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
