so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
