a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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