Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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