New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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