so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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