Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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