Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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