it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
