You made me cry and you don't even care
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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