Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
only if we run a train.
done.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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