I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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