My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
