I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Even my vagina gasped.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
FUCK WHALES
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
