lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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