I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
