he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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