508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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