Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
