the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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