Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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