Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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