Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am one with the molecules
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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