Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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