This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i need some magic done to my vagina
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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