Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
