Say something about gay babies.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
