Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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