I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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