I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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