Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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