hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize