I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
