she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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