You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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