Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize