just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This is classic penis vs brain.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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