She said her name was "party"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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