when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
