no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
