Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
