Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.