Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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