Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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  (334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (729)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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  (312): Is it possible to jerk off a nipple? http://tfl.nu/fsvj
  Replies (9) Good night (964) Bad night (2823)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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  (864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him http://tfl.nu/vh2n
  Replies (66) Good night (2714) Bad night (4368)
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  (951): View more from California

  yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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  (951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye. http://tfl.nu/mzng
  Replies (63) Good night (1714) Bad night (10286)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Ridin mah bike see you on the moon

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  (636): Ridin mah bike see you on the moon http://tfl.nu/f5ya
  Replies (23) Good night (7274) Bad night (786)
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  (805): View more from California

  his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk

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  (805): his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk http://tfl.nu/xwn2
  Replies (101) Good night (773) Bad night (14303)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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  (210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc
  Replies (4) Good night (4174) Bad night (1413)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?

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  (817): I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join? http://tfl.nu/sbfg
  Replies (11) Good night (1557) Bad night (554)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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  (252): Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question. http://tfl.nu/ellm
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (1167)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

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  (857): Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests http://tfl.nu/5mbt
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (518)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (533)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

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  (312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (749)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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  (918): Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/f8tw
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (541)
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  (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

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  (619): He had a step stool to get in to his bed! http://tfl.nu/4n7f
  Replies (4) Good night (371) Bad night (665)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

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  (413): dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME. http://tfl.nu/zc45
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (438)

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