Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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  (215): Milquetoast, coolest word ever. http://tfl.nu/m1o9
  Replies (23) Good night (2267) Bad night (617)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

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  (301): I wish Pampers made couches for people like us. http://tfl.nu/vwfv
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (3239)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone

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  (206): he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone http://tfl.nu/bnn4
  Replies (26) Good night (5809) Bad night (1269)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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  (757): tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning? http://tfl.nu/fo3m
  Replies (24) Good night (5318) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (2228)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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  (774): its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody http://tfl.nu/wrf2
  Replies (12) Good night (2702) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1686) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  successful birthday. 2012 rules

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  (843): dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance.. (1-843): successful birthday. 2012 rules http://tfl.nu/1z4y
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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  (416): Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again? (416): I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way http://tfl.nu/h01t
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

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  (503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you

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  (805): You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you http://tfl.nu/2235
  Replies (5) Good night (391) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can give you five reasons its your baby

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.

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  (508): I can give you five reasons its your baby (978): and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl. http://tfl.nu/cjus
  Replies (5) Good night (1289) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form

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  (630): I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form http://tfl.nu/1nja
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?

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  (908): He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling? http://tfl.nu/dpwn
  Replies (9) Good night (550) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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  (313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (262)

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