Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.