I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?