these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
