I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
babies were throwing up all over the place
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize