people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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