She is in my trunk
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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