You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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