did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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