kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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